BOY NEXT DOOR

Having an affair with neighbor can be hectic,

Constant distress is experienced

You become an all-time CCTV

I wanna be updated, Just to be clear,

It’s not following someone if you have to

Walk the same way home

Too much insecure, Who are they talkin’ to?

Who visited them today?

On one particular chilly night

My significant other came over just cause

I had announced my absence

Whether am in or not, my lights always on

So, Am there in my room playing ‘not-in”

Hopin’ they get high together, talk loudly

and save me the struggle of listenin’ adamantly

Few hours later, I can’t hear shit, just faded laughter

Then boom, the door opened, no sound lock

Footsteps fade along the hallway

Gate opened and the car leave the parking lot

I rush outside, confirm the door is not locked

I put on my socks, no shoes to avoid pit-a-pat

Too dark, I put my phone on airplane mode

Then flashlight on, move towards his door

I dunno what but methinks

Something is about to go down

Am now standing outside the door,

Open door mission is about to inaugurate

Placed the phone under my armpits

Eyes tightly closed, my lower lip between my denticle

Pulled self together

Like a thief, I need no slamming, no banging

Placed my hands on the lock

Slowly now opening the door lock

I hear a creak sound, paused for second

What if someone heard me?

I can clearly hear my heartbeat increasingly

My hands became swampy

At this point I should have turned back

No, no, everything with a beginning has an end

Mission to get in must be completed

Made sure the in-swing door didn’t biff on anything

Am in! Cat eyes activated. Wow!

No motion in the sitting room

Took phone flashlight under the armpit, to

Confirm absence of any person

The bedroom door is wide open, goes in

I know this place, switch on the blue lights

I see an adorable human tacked inside the duvet

Face facing towards the door, sleeping like a baby

Went closer waved my hand for confirmation

Good girl, I promise not to wake you up

Then I see her phone charging

Tapped the home button, we are at 78%

Unplugged it from charger,

Let me go with it so that you can blame our Jabari

As I left the bedroom, I looked back at her, inner voice said

‘Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you’

Getting out of the house was a piece of cake

I mean, I already felt like a pro, I had

Turned into Peter Parker from Spider-man

So, this phone has a password,

Maybe I should factory reset it

Maybe I sell it, Maybe I throw it the window

Maybe I should use it to con people.

Maybe I should return it. Ah what did I do?

Nah! No. Let me “sleep on it”

Maybe I’ll wake up with a brilliant idea.

So I remove the sim card, play with settings

Bluetooth on, WiFi on, flashlight on

And brightness at its best

All these so drain the battery.

I hear the car again, Jabari is back,

I struggled to get sleep that night,

I need whiskey, Wait, What? I no longer get intoxicated

Thinking out loud, I crossed the lines,

Maybe I should have taken Jabari’s Camera or Laptop

And then wait for the drama the next day.

I should probably plant the phone

Behind Jabari’s couch, some other time

Don’t be troubled or afraid, I told self

Nothing is illegal till you get caught

Furthermore I was not in that night

So, I can’t be in the suspect list

Hours passed, Jabari calls me with news,

Told him that in our apartments,

We don’t have thieves and he should probably check again

Funny or not that particular time I was holding the phone

Some miles away, far from home.

My phone calls always on record, I listened to the call

Just to figure out if I sounded suspicious, guess not

8 weeks later, Out of no where, Jabari ask me

“Are you sure you are the one who took a phone from my room?’

I couldn’t lie no more, ‘It was me I said” He laughed

Am into Mixed reactions, Why is he furious?

Fear those people who get angry but pretend to be well

He told me all that time, I was his no.1 Suspect

Talked it out, Felt guilty

Later pulled the phone out from the hiding place.

The ball is now on Jabari’s side

He is smart, he will figure out what to say

When he returns it to the owner.

Advertisement

HOW TO KNOW YOUR OVULATION DAY AND FERTILE PERIOD.

REGARDS TO MEDICAL PRACTITIONER DR.KIMUTAI, FOR THE PIECE & REQUESTING ME TO SHARE.

Ovulation is when a mature egg is released from your ovary. It usually happens about 14 days BEFORE your period starts. •To know your ovulation day :-

1. Determine your cycle length e.g. 28, 35, or 25-day cycle 2. Subtract 14 days from your cycle length 3. The result is your approximate ovulation day _Your “Fertile Window” is about 5 days before and including your ovulation day!

✓Example 1 _If your average menstrual cycle is 28 days, you ovulate around day 14 (i.e. 28 – 14 = 14). The most fertile days in your cycle would be days 12, 13 and 14.

✓Example 2 _If your average menstrual cycle is longer, say 35 days, ovulation should occur around day 21 (i.e. 35 – 14 = 21). The most fertile days in your cycle would be days 19, 20 and 21.

✓Example 3 _If your period is shorter, say 25 days, ovulation would normally occur at around day 11 (i.e. 25 – 14 = 11). The most fertile days in your cycle will be days 9, 10 and 11.

A woman can only get pregnant on a few days during her menstrual cycle because eggs and sperm only live for a short time. _Sperm live for around 5 days while eggs can only be fertilized for around 1 day.

_Both need to come together at the right time for fertilization to happen. So pregnancy is possible if you have sex within 5 days before ovulation or on the ovulation day. _But the most fertile days are 2 days before your ovulation plus the ovulation day itself (making 3 days)

Having sex during this time gives you the best chance of getting pregnant. _From what I have said above, there’s almost zero chance that you’ll get pregnant if you have sex BEFORE or AFTER your fertile window.

•So the remaining part of your cycle minus your fertile window is your SAFE PERIOD. _But if you’re trying to avoid getting pregnant, use contraception instead of relying on the safe period. •This is because you might miscalculate your ovulation, especially if your period is not regular

SPEECHLESS

Unable to write a word. It does mean am out of ink. It doesn’t mean I can’t flow with words My ink would flow steadily and make my paper look like art Proof of steady flow of ink Yet it has no overflow. So many untold thoughts Words have become still like water…..

Am on meditation Probably meditating about nothing. If only I could lift my head up and write my heart out on paper.. I would flow silently to my depth.

Confused, Knowing not what to and not write, Many words;diction is betraying me, Ideas racing but no words to explain the predicament. Start with this word, no this will do better, no! The world is confused just as I am, I die full of ideas; but no perfect words to use.

MONEY MANAGEMENT IN FESTIVE SEASON

It is no secret that you are likely to overspend during the festive season compared to any other time of the year. There are lots of tempting offers and discounts on products, making it easy to buy things on impulse. Additionally, there’s pressure to treat yourself to a vacation or a luxurious experience you typically wouldn’t indulge in. During this period, the pressure to overspend is at an all-time high, with people sharing photos and videos of themselves on social media having the time of their lives. There’s also the pressure to be generous and gift your friends and family members. If you’re not careful, you are likely to start January with empty pockets.

Here is how to manage your finances during this period;

• BUDGET FOR THE FESTIVE SEASON

Approach the season with a budget to guide your spending. Take an honest account of how much money you’ll have after taking care of your regular expenses. You can still save for the festivities activities during the first few months of the year. This can make you better prepared for unexpected events such as job loss. If you intend to gift others or yourself come up with a list and a detailed budget. Only buy the presents after identifying how much money you have to spare after you’ve taken care of your monthly expenses. Since you’re likely to find offers almost everywhere you go, come up with a list of items you intend to purchase and budget them too.

• MANAGE THE EXPECTATIONS OF PEOPLE CLOSE TO YOU

Mostly, you have family or friend depending on you to take them out, going for shopping or vacations. It is important you express your budget to them and let them know what activities you are available for. This way you save them and yourself from disappointments.

• AVOID GOING OUT FREQUENTLY

You certainly don’t have to all events and don’t need to go out every weekend. You are more likely to spend more when out compared to when you stay indoors. You and your friends can decide to meet up at home and cook your own food rather than going out. If it’s a must you go out, eat first, this will reduce temptations to snack hence reducing unplanned expenses

Parting short: Remember to live below you standards, save, invest and repeat. Managing finances is more important than making more money.

fragapanophobia

It is a fear of birthdays. The anxiety that premieres prior beforehand. The urge to have a better bash than the one held last year. Introverts cases are worser, they hate being in the limelight. They don’t like being the centre of attention, to receive gifts and have a fuss made, it can trigger a type of social anxiety.

^weuh

You can have high expectation where you looking forward to receiving alot of gifts from the FF, family & friends. Sooner or later you may end up with no gifts et al. This will definately lead people to feel sad around their birthday.

My dad told me ,

“Expect nothing so that when something comes it gonna act like a surprise”

FRAGAPANOPHOBIA REMEDIES
Manage your expectations and do not overplan. If you decide to rely on others, please remember to set a sadness limit to be comfotable with the incoming grief. Start the day well and do something special.

3 things about me;

• I only drink twice, during my birthday and when it’s not my birthday.
• I don’t contribute towards birthday parties.
• I don’t need your invite, once I know the venue and time, BOOM am present.

LIFE

I’m coming to realize that life is more about the small moments than anything else. They aren’t inconspicuous or accidental. But God meets us in them and with every step we take.

I won’t try to belittle your fear or downplay your angst, because God knows it’s real and palatable. I don’t know what you’re facing, but God does. In Luke 5:16, “And He withdrew Himself in the wilderness, and prayed.” We are reminded of the way in which Jesus often withdrew to be with God the father alone. It reminds us of the gift of solitude in silence. Jesus modeled a perfect humanity, and also how to rest. We don’t need to be stronger or tougher than Jesus.

So here’s a kind and gentle word for the tired and weary soul. To the one not knowing what to do. To the one punching the wall. To the one with the anxious mind . YOU CAN REST! Your story will become your testimony, pointing to a God that could, when we could not.

Scripture tells us not to fear 365 times God’s supernatural love is the antidote for human fear. Don’t let the rowdiness of life rob you of your rest that’s yours to have. Jesus rested so that He can live on the bounty, not burnout. Let’s follow suite. Amen. God bless. 🤗❤️🙏

Blessings and love… 🤗❤️🙏

ELECTIONS

The aftermath election is full of anxiety. Everyone is heartily waiting for the results following all the TV stations, publications and concerned organizations just to be updated. Contestants eagerly waiting to be announced winners either democratically or by rigging themselves in, agents/citizens looking forward to seeing their candidates win. I have a PTSD during the electioneering period, this is my story…

In 2017, during my first-ever agency work, a very rich guy announced his bid to vie for the MCA seat in our ward. Murphy, (not his real name), lived in a palatial home with several car garage, spacious double volume living room with fire place, En suite guest room, gazebo next to the swimming pool and an eye catching perimeter wall. He appointed me and another 19 young youths to campaign for him.

At the end of each day, after traversing through the Ward campaigning for him, we would report to him that ‘ground imekubali’ ama ‘kura ni yako’ meaning the people have accepted him and will vote him in. However, in the back of our minds, we knew otherwise.

Nonetheless, we kept on lying to him for the sake of remunerations and feasting at his home. Murphy gave us money bags, to bribe people. After the election, Murphy was number 4, conceded defeat and sent us text messages inviting us to his home to thank us for the work that we had done campaigning for him.

As soon as all of us had reported to his home at around 8pm, the gate was locked. Then the power in the homestead was switched off to cast the whole homestead into darkness. Bana! I don’t know how a nyaunyo landed on my back. But it did. After that, all I heard were screams from the rest of the campaign team as whips after whips landed on us. We didn’t see who was beating us. There was no escape route. After half an hour of thorough whooping, the gates out of hell were opened.

Kumbe I’ve a talent, I ran faster like a hungry cheetah chasing a gazelle. A night runner had nothing on my speed. That day, I experience what Kijeketile Ngwale and the people of Tanganyika and their magic water experienced in the hands of the German soldiers during the Maji Maji Rebellion.

Nowadays, I prefer staying indoors sipping champagne in a robe or eating popcorns while dancing dougie as others exercise their democratic voting right and later celebrate whoever wins together.

SUGAR DADDY.

I once had a sugar daddy that was bang jealous and dramatic. He never entertained me when I went out to fall in love with boys of my age. I could not afford to maintain relationships with any boyfriend. I don’t know how he used to find out. Whenever he did, he would cause drama or threaten to cut his financial support if I kept on seeing the boys. This was offbeat, unlike sugar daddies’ natures. It wasn’t what I thought I would find in our relationship.

I raved in the anticipation of an open relationship devoid of emotional commitments. I had read, heard and watched sugar mammy and sponsor stories. They never got emotionally entangled with their sugar boys and slay queens. All they wanted was intimacy and the company. In the exchange, they would financially pamper the boy or the girl. Sometimes, I had heard, sugar daddies were sufficiently philanthropic to the extent that they gave their sugar girls money and time to spend on their boyfriends. He was the exact opposite. His degree of jealousy sometimes made him volatile and emotionally violent. Sometimes bang childish and act like a teenage jilted lover experiencing a heartbreak for the first time ever.

One day, two months after we started our symbiotic relationship, he took me out of my Lumumba Drive one-bedroom on a shopping spree in TRM’s Carrefour. The shopping was smooth. I was pushing the trolley, while he picked all that I asked for.

Well, until a young lad appeared in one of our shopping rows. He was dressed in a generous khaki shorts, white tshirt with a denim and vans. He appeared on almost every row that we moved into. And each time he appeared on our row, I would stop to stare and admire. My lust kinda infuriated my Sugar daddy. He pulled me aside with an incensed face like a father would pull a rogue kid in a supermarket and said ‘We are leaving!’ He stormed out of the mall as I returned the goods we had picked and I followed him in his BMW.

He was still mad and refused to talk to me for three minutes. I serenade my conversation with sweet words, ‘Sweetheart, my love et al. They promptly elevated his spirit to finally engage me in a conversation. He asked me outrightly if I liked the young man. I denied, harder than Peter the disciple. ‘Just be honest, I know I am too old for your love and I will understand if you crave the warmth of younger skin.’ I stood my ground and lied to him that his age was just a number and that I loved him nevertheless.

He leaned towards me and showed me his phone photos when he was younger and asked for my thoughts. Damn he used to be handsome but age had wiped his youth away. Still, I was forced to lie to him that even at his advanced age, he still maintained and looked charming. This, was to win his favor back. In the end, at the end of my complimentary lies, he took me to Garden City Mall to shop.

I was prety sure the relationship could not last I was there for the support help. Am back on track and cheerfully married to one masculine & charming man of my age group.

Adios!

CAMPUS LIFE.

We all have had that dream to get admitted to campus/college with a mindset that it’s going to be fun through the years but it may be a hell of life depending on how one takes it.

During the 1^st year, you don’t get to choose whom to share a room with. This ends up with indifferences from upbringing, beliefs and even disagreements on what to cook and who will do the dishes. After few months in Hostel one will choose to move into a rental where they even end up skipping some meals. Going at “Kwa mathe” where stomach affairs are at a pocket friendly price. The roommates are the ultimate propellers of peer pressure.

Students go through alot, from missing marks, insecurities, high fees to Sexually Transmitted Degrees. Those not keen are introduced to drugs, life of partying and results to slowly receiving supplementaly exams.

The society within deem students as rogues, purporting that the students are never serious with their life.What people don’t understand is that these youths need a helping hand in terms of role models and support both emotionally, financially sometimes even physically.

ADIOS!

MARRIAGE.

Marriage is the foundation of culture. If you destroy marriage, you destroy the culture. If you destroy the relationship between husband and wife, you will destroy the moral and spiritual formation of children.

The Left knows this. It’s why their beliefs and policies promote the destruction of marriage and family: it allows them to mold children to fit their warped view of society & better usher in their Marxist hellscape.

End no fault divorce.
Ban pornography.
Celebrate traditional marriage.
Denounce fornication and adultery.
Institute economic policies that enable the common man to purchase a home and support a family on a single income.